Columbia University’s latest cold open focuses on dealing with pro-Palestinian protests on campus during the Israel-Hamas war.
During the sketch, Mickey Day, Keenan Thompson and Heidi Gardner played parents of students participating in the protest.
Last week, hundreds of protesters were arrested after the school’s president called the New York Police Department to help restore order on campus. Police evacuated the university’s Hamilton Hall after protesters occupied the administration building earlier in the day.
Asked for his thoughts on the protests, Gardner initially responded, “It was difficult. Now, I’m all for free speech, but I don’t understand what they’re thinking about what they’re doing. And it’s really putting a strain on my relationship with my daughter.”
Thompson later reflected: “There’s nothing I’m more proud of than young people using their voices to fight for what they believe in.” However, once Michael Longfellow’s Ryan Epper expressed that his daughter should feel supported by him for protesting, his tone changed completely.
“No man, you’re screwing up. Alexis has a better butt in Vanessa Roberts’ class. Let me find her in one of those tents instead of the dorm room I pay for,” Thompson said, as if that Longfellow noted, “I thought you were in favor of student protests.”
“Man, I’m all for the kids protesting, not my kid,” Thompson added. “My baby knows better. Shoot, Alexis, Vanessa isn’t crazy.
Longfellow asked parents if they were worried about an increased police presence and the possible arrest of their children.
While Gardner said, “One of my biggest fears is that my daughter is going to end up behind bars,” it’s safe to say Thompson felt differently.
“I’m not worried about Five-O, it’s none of my business,” he said. “My business is Alexis Vanessa Roberts. Right? She’s not talking about free, this free, because I tell you what’s not free, Columbia. Did you all know they want $68,000 a year?” ?
She continued, “I’m out here so they can pay all the tuition. Girl, I do it all. Uber all day, Uber all night, mowing the grass on the weekend, Gucci wallets out of my trunk.” Sells, life coaching on IG. It’s all because he got a degree in African American Studies. That’s it, you’re black all the time You know what it is.”
Thompson quickly backtracked when it was also noted that some universities were canceling their commencement ceremonies because of the protests.
“I don’t think you’ll understand. Alexis and Vanessa will graduate, even if I have to,” she said. “You better believe that when they clearly told us to wait until the end. So I’m going to be there making noise and making noise.”
Later, during K’s “Weekend Update,” director and star Jerry Seinfeld made a surprise appearance to discuss getting “too much press” for the projects.
“I know I can’t undo all the press I’ve done, but I want to help other people,” he said. “If you’re struggling with press, you’re not alone. I’m talking to you, Ryan Gosling. When I started doing press, I was like you: funny, good-looking. Now look at me. You think this is how I wanted to spend my 26th birthday? But you can be pure.”
Dua Lipa also made her debut as host and musical guest in the latest episode.
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